Mad Lib

Jan 8, 2008
The state of the state is...

"Lawmakers returned Monday to a Capitol in fiscal chaos and, while acknowledging something must get resolved and soon, immediately drew partisan lines in the sand over possible solutions," reports Steve Geissinger in the Merc News.

"Senate leader Don Perata, D-Oakland, said during a Capitol news conference that Republicans must include ideas such as tax hikes and ending tax breaks as the state struggles to close what is now projected to be a $14 billion deficit.

"Just a couple of hours before, Assembly minority leader Mike Villines, R-Fresno, insisted during a separate news conference that GOP lawmakers 'will not raise taxes this year to help liberal spending programs.'

"But it's not just taxes that define the partisan divide in Sacramento.

"Today, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger is set to deliver the State of the State speech, and on Thursday he will unveil a proposed budget that will almost certainly call for deep spending cuts that are favored by Republicans but unacceptable to Democrats."

Kevin Yamamura talks to voters about what they want to hear from the governor.

"For the first time, California taxpayers have a fix on the total price tag for covering health care benefits for retired public employees over the next 30 years: More than $118.1 billion, " reports Gilbert Chan in the Bee.

"Public agencies have saved enough to meet just 22 percent of this massive tab, a special commission convened by the governor revealed Monday. By contrast, governments have enough money to pay for 89 percent of their long-term pension promises.

"'The clear message is: Don't postpone things. The state clearly needs to lead the way,' said Gerard Parsky, chairman of the Public Employee Post-Employment Benefits Commission. 'It may cause choices (to be made). It may cause priorities to be shifted.'"

The speech has been moved up until the middle afternoon, to allow everyone to watch election returns from New Hampshire this evening, and so nobody has to watch the governor deliver the bad news.

The LAT's Evan Halper writes that the report is fueling demands for benefit reform.

"The panel's refusal to call for a reining in of benefits irked some fiscal conservatives. They say government workers in California are more richly compensated than their counterparts in other states and at private companies.

"'Other states simply don't unilaterally grant retirees these healthcare benefits for life,' said Jon Coupal, president of the Howard Jarvis Taxpayers Assn.

"He said the commission should have proposed cutting the costly health benefits and raising the retirement age of state workers.

"Former Republican Assemblyman Keith Richman, who is leading an effort to place an initiative on the ballot that would cut pension benefits for government workers, agreed.

"'We have people retiring at age 50 with more than 100 percent of their salaries and lifetime health benefits, and the commission didn't address that at all,' he said. 'The benefits offered to public employees in this state are extravagant. . . . It is just wrong.'"

The AP reports: "State Senate leader Don Perata on Monday said he will not push a water bond proposal this year because of the state's budget crisis.

"The Oakland Democrat was promoting a $6.8 billion initiative to fund water recycling, conservation and environmental cleanup. But he said such spending should be delayed now that the state is facing a budget shortfall projected at $14 billion over the next 18 months.

"Perata also asked the California Chamber of Commerce and farmers to delay their competing $11.7 billion water bond initiative, which they want to put before voters in November."

"The California Farm Bureau Federation referred calls to the chamber, which had no immediate response to Perata's request."

"As New Hampshire throws the presidential contest toward California and the other Feb. 5 contest states, the major candidates are working furiously to sew up the first of those to cast ballots -- the mail-in voters, who started receiving their ballots Monday," writes Cathleen Decker in the Times.

"At least half of California's votes will be by mail in the presidential primary, analysts believe, and their heft is one of several factors dictating the campaigns' strategies here.

"For campaigns doing well, strategists hope to build on early momentum by convincing those key voters to return ballots swiftly. Candidates whose campaigns have fallen on hard times, on the other hand, are torn between holding off until news is better or scrambling to attract whatever votes they can before their candidacies sustain more damage.

"For mail-in voters itching to fill out ballots for a favored candidate, the topsy-turvy presidential contest poses its own problem. Namely, they have no way of knowing whether a candidate they vote for today will be in the race tomorrow.

"'A lot of people could end up casting ballots for candidates who are not candidates by Feb. 5,' said Dan Schnur, a veteran Republican political consultant who is unaligned in the presidential contest."

Speaking of people who might not be candidates in November, the Bee's David Whitney reports, "Rep. John Doolittle on Monday summoned supporters to a meeting this week for "news about our plans for 2008" as the political community speculated he may be ready to bow out without seeking a 10th term in Congress.

"As the Justice Department has investigated Doolittle and his wife in connection with their relationship to jailed lobbyist Jack Abramoff, Doolittle has insisted he would run for re-election."

"Orange County Sheriff Michael S. Carona returned to work Monday after a self-imposed leave of absence, but did not create much of a buzz in department headquarters in Santa Ana. In fact, he did not visit his office at all, department officials said," reports Stuart Pfeifer in the Times.

Sounds like a nice day of work.

"Carona, who took two months off work to prepare for his June trial on federal corruption charges, announced through a spokesman last week that he would return Monday. Television news vans parked outside the sheriff's Flower Street headquarters early Monday to document his return, but he never showed up.

"Instead, the sheriff spent the day attending off-site meetings, said department spokesman Damon Micalizzi. He declined to say where the meetings were held but said he believed they were about conditions in county jails.

"Federal prosecutors charged Carona with seven felonies in October under a Grand Jury indictment that accused the third-term, 52-year-old sheriff of using the power of his office for financial gain and witness tampering."

Oh yes. One of those "working from home" days we all know so well.

From our Men With Priorities Files"Investigators were trying Monday to determine if a suspected drunken driver involved in a single-vehicle crash Sunday night failed to buckle his own seat belt even as the 12-pack of beer on the passenger seat was safely secured.

"Witnesses told police they saw the man driving north on Van Maren Lane in excess of 60 mph before he lost control of his car, which slammed into a tree near Garden Gate Drive.

"The driver suffered serious head and body injuries and he was rushed to a local hospital.

"He was found still in the driver's seat, unrestrained, next to the 12-pack of beer secured by a seat belt, according to a police summary."

Homer Simpson would be proud.